The book What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?: The Power of Understanding to Connect, Influence, Solve & Sell by Christine Miles is an absolute masterwork that prioritizes listening as the key to effective interactions in all spheres of life. Christine gives illustrations of how listening to consumers can benefit salespeople, repair relationships, and unite people in remarkable ways. This book might be exactly what every company and person needs to improve their relationships because it is packed with useful advice and entertaining examples that demonstrate listening.
Of course, everyone has heard about the importance of listening, but sadly, the majority of us do not listen effectively. As a result, we frequently experience conflict or perplexity. Christine reminds out that since no one has ever taught us how to listen, this is actually not our fault. She even presents evidence that speaking and listening are taught more in school than each other. In actuality, just 2% of people have ever received any form of listening training.
Christine is adamant about changing that. She teaches individuals how to listen one-on-one and in groups as a business consultant, executive coach, and radio show host. People frequently give lip service to listening but lack a true understanding of how to do it or its immense worth. Christine gives advice on how to listen effectively, including how to encourage others to speak more because you are such a wonderful listener. As of this moment, What Is It Costing You to Not Listen? She disseminates her effective yet uncomplicated methods so that a real listening revolution can start.
Strong lines about listening that really drive home how crucial it is are dotted throughout the book. Jim George, for instance, is quoted by Christine as saying, “Being receptive is a sign of love. You can convey nonverbally that someone is important to you by listening to them.” A major advantage of listening is that it strengthens our bonds with others, but Christine also emphasizes the advantages it has for our own well-being, saying, “I have discovered that the more I see others, bear witness to their suffering, and ultimately understand them, the more I heal my own wounds and losses, cultivating both personal and business success.”
The book is structured into three sections that explain the value of listening, different listening techniques, and Christine’s “Listening PathTM,” which gives you the tools you need to change the way you listen. For the reader to put what they have learned into practice, each chapter includes exercises.
That learning to listen involves more than just refraining from speaking during others’ conversations or even refraining from mentally practicing our response to the other person’s words when they finish speaking may have surprised me the most about this book. Instead, it involves using straightforward techniques to encourage others to talk more and to say the really important things. Christine advises us to listen in a way that makes the other person comfortable, ready, and able to open up to us. By doing this, we can uncover people’s motivations and discover what matters most to them, enabling us to better comprehend, empathize with, and connect with them. If possible, we may even join them in finding solutions to our problems or cooperating to achieve a shared objective, such as boosting a company’s profits, improving our workplace, or satisfying the needs of our clients.
When Christine said that failing to listen is the root of many problems, I was astounded and at the same time completely agreed with her. Also listening is the answer to those issues. While Christine demonstrates how listening may improve professional and personal relationships, I can see how it would produce amazing outcomes if our political and world leaders used it. Imagine the improvements that might result if members of Congress from both parties paid attention to one another when they shared their worries, worries, hopes, and dreams. Imagine if world leaders actually listened to each other at talks rather than focusing on preventing war or enhancing trade. I hope this book gets read by international leaders. I really hope every congressman reads it. I hope it is read by every member of the school board or city council. I hope both parents and their adolescent children read it. It’s time for a listening revolution on a global scale.
Of course, none of us can simply hope to alter the world, but we can change who we are. We can begin to develop stronger listening skills to enhance our personal connections, which will have a positive domino effect.
Let me wrap up with some comments from Christine, in case I haven’t persuaded you to read What Is It Costing You Not to Listen?: “What does your failure to listen cost you? Have you experienced a breakup, divorce, employee departures, failed negotiations, customer loss, difficult children, lost friendships, distant children, or a team that can’t work well together? The capacity to listen is a recurring theme in all of these situations, contributing to both the problems’ causes and their solutions. Have you ever thought about how your capacity for listening influences your life? What do you have lost? What stand to be lost? What do you omit without realizing it?”